by Amanda Brown
Lots of people watched a fun comedy starring Reese Witherspoon. But not everyone knows that the film was based on the book. The plot does not start too original. We meet Elle Woods. She is young, beautiful and socially active. Elle even won the title of Miss University. Her boyfriend is also very popular. Elle wants to marry Warner. But the guy is sure his girlfriend is too stupid and does not think about their future. He hides from Elle his plans about admission into Harvard. He also wants to find another more intelligent partner. When Elle goes to Harvard to her boyfriend, she finds out he has been already engaged to another girl for some time. This could be the beginning of a protracted depression. But Elle is not used to being discouraged. She decides to make Warner regret his hasty decision.
That night Elle and her two best friends stayed up late, making plans on how to bring Warner back.
At around 3:00 A.M. Elle decided that she would go to law school. If Warner was going to Stanford Law School to find someone "serious," he was going to find one serious Elle Woods.
Elle spent the rest of the fall semester studying for the Law School Aptitude Test, which she had decided to take in January.
Three months later, Elle was smiling as she returned from the LSAT. She finished the silly test four minutes early.
Several days after the exam, Elle walked into her mother's Los Angeles art gallery.
"Kiss noise!" Elle's mother said when she saw her. Elle and her mother exchanged air kisses not to ruin each other's makeup.
"Mother, I've got some news that may surprise you," Elle announced nervously as she sat into a chair in her mother's office.
"Oh, darling! You're finally marrying Warner!" Eva guessed.
Elle had always told her mother everything, but she couldn't tell her about the awful October night when Warner dumped her. She knew her mother would be devastated. Her mother had always told Elle that a woman's biggest achievement was getting a rich husband.
"No, Mother," Elle said, "not yet. The news is, I've decided not to work in the gallery this fall. I'm... well... I've decided to go back to school."
"Design or film, dear?" Eva smiled, but Elle could see her disappointment.
"I'm going to law school."
Eva almost jumped up. She stared at Elle for several moments before she could speak. "Law school? What are you talking about? Darling, one must pass tests for that and..."
"Oh, I know," Elle said, and laughed nervously. "I've already taken the test, and I think I passed it. It may seem strange, Mother, but I just totally want to be a lawyer."
"I see," Eva said. "Have you applied to schools already?"
"Well, of course! I applied to Harvard, and Pepperdine as a backup. And Stanford too, I think." She paused. "Yes, those three, definitely," Elle lied. She had only applied to Stanford. Why would she go to a school that didn't have Warner in it?
"Well, your father will be devastated!" Eva said.
Elle thought that when she brought Warner back, both of her parents would be happy.
In late April, while standing in the foyer of the Delta Gamma house looking through her mail, Elle found a very thin envelope from Stanford. She ran upstairs to her room, praying it was a letter of acceptance. After all, she had a 4.0 GPA, a perfect LSAT score, and tons of extracurricular activities. She also hoped that Stanford had liked her personal statement.
In her bedroom, Elle opened the letter with shaking hands and began to read: "Dear Ms. Woods, we are pleased to accept you..."
After graduation, Elle moved back to her parents', and from that day, with Underdog at her side, she began the project of becoming someone "serious."
At first, she wanted to turn to Cosmo for advice. However, when Serena found pictures of Warner's brother and his bride in Town and Country', Elle knew that it was her new bible.
Over the summer, with Town Country under her arm, Elle shopped at the malls, exchanged her BMW convertible for a Range Rover, and bought a pair of glasses. She also began wearing pearls.
In August, Elle Woods was ready. She packed her flowery dresses and pink furry slippers, zipped her Louis Vuittons, and went up north with Underdog.
CHAPTER SIX
Elle couldn't believe how depressing the university dormitory was. Her dorm room was smaller than her closet at home. Elle looked at her watch and realized she was already late. She left her dorm room with the puzzled moving men trying to fit all her stuff in, and drove to orientation.
She parked the Range Rover and started thinking what to do with Underdog.
"Sorry, dear," Elle said to the dog. "I'll take care of this really fast, and you can wait in the car." She poured Evian into his pink travel dish, opened the windows slightly, turned on his favorite CD, and left.
The crowd in the courtyard in front of Stanford Law School reminded her of summer camps. Groups of proud parents stood talking to their prodigies with terrible Hello My Name Is tags on their chests. Elle thought about her parents who didn't want to see her "wasting her talents at law school." Second-year law students worked at tables selling Stanford Law BUMPER STICKERS, T-shirts, sweatshirts, coffee mugs, pens, notebooks, and backpacks.
Elle looked for an alphabetical line to guide her, but Stanford had a different system. "If you went to Harvard, pick up your name tag here," read one sign. "If you went to Brown, pick up your name tag here," said the other. There was an MIT Cal Tech table and the Smith too. Nervously, Elle came up to the "State Schools, except Penn (Ivy)", not sure if the University of Southern California was actually a state school. There was no nametag for her there.
Walking past these signs, Elle felt terrified. Maybe that acceptance letter had been a joke, a mistake? But at the far end she saw a single table with the sign that she knew was meant only for her.
"If you went to Santa Monica Community College for summer school, pick up your name tag here," read the sign.
Nobody was there, and Elle's nametag and her orientation schedule lay on the table under a rock. "Very funny," Elle said, blushing. She had passed her math exams at Santa Monica but certainly didn't think of it as her alma mater. She put the terrible nametag into her Prada bag and quickly went to the second row of tables.
Pushing past badly dressed people, Elle found a young woman who wasn't with her parents, and asked her if she knew where they were supposed to go next. Somehow, the woman looked familiar.
"I don't know." The woman said. She looked Elle up and down and shrugged . "I'm waiting for my fiance."
"Thanks," Elle said and moved to a nearby table to look at the pamphlets there. Finally, she found a wooden bench, sat down, and read her orientation schedule for the next day.
Tuesday
9:00 A.M. - 10:00 A.M. Registration
10:00 A.M. - 12:00 P.M. Book Purchase
12:00 P.M. - 1:30 P.M. Barbecue
1:30 P.M.-3:00 P.M. Campus Tour (including Law Library)
3:00 P.M. - 5:00 P.M. You and Others: Meet and Greet
5:00 P.M. - 7:00 P.M. Dean's Welcome
7:00 P.M. Pizza Party
"Terrible," Elle said and groaned. The pizza and barbecue were bad enough, plus the schedule covered every minute of the day. How could she even begin unpacking her stuff before classes started on Thursday? She thought of Underdog and decided to go to the bookstore immediately to avoid the "book purchase" rush the next day. But when she found the Law section, she saw a crowd. Bad luck: dozens of eager law students were already staring at the casebooks they would soon read.
Elle gathered her twelve heavy casebooks and took her place at the end of the line. An MP3 player and sunglasses would've been a good idea, she thought as she tried to ignore people and noise around her. She pulled out. I's September issue and turned the pages trying to show that she was doing an important reading. Eventually, totally annoyed, Elle left the line, thinking that there was no need for her to miss her regular manicure time.
CHAPTER SEVEN
At nine o'clock the next morning, Elle was back at the law school for registration.
"Elle!" Warner exclaimed with surprise when he saw her. "What are you doing here?" He looked with curiosity at Elle's flowery dress and pearls.
"I'm registering. Like everybody else." She hadn't seen Warner, and his simple question caught her off guard. Elle noticed that Warner's yellow shirt matched his hair. A pale, frowning brunette was standing beside him. Elle recognized the woman she had met at the orientation. She had thought of a million lines to say to Warner alone, but seeing him with another woman ruined her confidence.
"Registering for what? This isn't the design department, Elle." Warner laughed.
"Really? I'm happy to hear that! Otherwise, I would have been standing in the wrong line for hours to register for, like, fashion design when I came all the way here to enter law school," Elle answered, smiling. She glanced at the young woman who was pulling Warner's sleeve for his attention.
"This is... Sarah," Warner said, turning to her. Elle stared at Sarah through the pink sunglasses and tried to smile.
"We went to the same school," Warner said. Now Elle remembered seeing pictures of Sarah in Warner's Groton yearbook. Her grandfather's portrait was on a postage stamp. Grandma Huntington must be quite happy.
Elle and Sarah shook hands. "I'm sure Warner's told you about me," Elle said. Sarah looked at her with CONTEMPT. To her, Elle was like a Barbie doll - certainly nothing like the friends she'd had at Groton.
Warner had told Sarah about Elle, but he hadn't needed to. Everyone knew about Warner's foolish college girlfriend. "Mark my words, that woman will never, never call herself a Huntington," Grandma Huntington had often said at family dinners.
With her right hand, Sarah straightened the huge diamond ring on her left hand. "I'm Sarah Knottingham. Warner's fiancee," she said.
Elle couldn't believe her ears. She stared with her mouth open at Sarah, the Rock, and Warner, trying to understand what had just happened. She thought it was a nightmare and shut her eyes, hoping that when she opened them, it would disappear.
But it didn't.
In her dorm room, Elle fell on her bed. "Underdog, you have to stay quiet," she told her Chihuahua. "You're not allowed here, but I need a friend." She SIGHED. Then she got up, put on her Delta Gamma T-shirt, and began unpacking.
"What am I doing here?" Elle sighed again, sitting down on the floor among the boxes. A narrow bed, a desk, and a chair were the only furniture in her GLOOMY new room. A year ago, she had imagined her life after college quite differently. Elle had been sure that at this time she would be planning her wedding. Instead, she found herself in a law school dorm.
"What have I done?" she GROANED. She SOB BYBED, remembering Sarah and her pale hand with the Rock - the family jewel that should've been Elle's.
"Well, I'm here now," Elle, decided, at last. "Warner, Sarah, my parents... just wait and see'!" She stood up to look for the telephone.
Legally Blonde film Intro "Perfect Day" Song
Elle
Margo
Serena
The anti-bra feminist
The Dean
Sarah
Claire
Sidney's father, Lee Ugman
CHAPTER EIGHT
After finally finding her pink Princess-style phone, Elle lay on her bed and held Underdog tight. She decided to call Margot and Serena. She knew they would be home at this time, as they never missed an episode of their favorite TV series. Elle smiled as she thought of her friends.,
Margot picked up right away. "It's Elle," she said to Serena, putting the phone on speaker.
"Hi, you guys!" Elle was so happy to hear their friendly voices.
"Elle! How are you? We miss you already!" Serena said.
"I miss you guys too! You can't imagine..." Elle began, but Margot interrupted her.
"How is shopping there?" Margot asked. "Is it as good as here?"
Elle started to say that she hadn't had a chance to go inside a store yet when Serena asked her, "Elle! How's Warner? Was he surprised to see you? Did you get the Rock yet?"
Elle didn't know where to begin, and it was just too depressing to repeat the horrible events over the phone.
"Warner's fine, but no Rock yet," Elle lied. "I'm getting ready for classes though, and you wouldn't believe how many books I have." She sighed heavily.
"Oh, you poor thing!" the girls cried together. "We are so glad to be out of school," Margot added. "Well, we're dying to hear more, but we're late for a meeting."
"Meeting?" Elle asked.
"Jesus is the Weigh!" the girls cried together.
"It's a new spiritual weight-loss program," Serena added.
"You have to come with us next time you are in L.A.," Margot said.
"Got to go! Much love and send Warner a kiss!" they cried together.
Elle hung up feeling worse than ever. Serena and Margot had found Jesus, and Sarah had the Rock. She fell onto pink silk pillows and cried until she had to get ready for her first law school event.
Elle tried to think of something positive as she walked across the Stanford campus on her way to the Dean's Welcome. She noticed a few tables with interesting signs. One table's sign read "Hum Your Bra." A woman with a bandanna and frizzy brown hair was standing there, and Elle was glad to see something familiar. She smiled as she remembered the bra-burning party she'd given for Serena after she had got her new boobs.
As Elle came up to the table, the woman jumped up to yell, "Bra burning is a political thing!"
Elle noticed that the woman was not wearing any bra. She slopped, puzzled. "Are you talking to me?" Elle asked her.
"Free women from the male dominance and capitalistic body image! Boycott the bra!" shouted the woman.
At that, Elle left the place quickly.
Students and parents filled the law school's auditorium waiting for the dean's speech. Dean Haus was known around campus as "Great Haus," both for his warm personality and sense of humor, as well as his superb ten- bedroom house.
But Elle didn't think the Dean's Welcome was very welcoming.
Dean Haus began by listing the achievements of the 180 students chosen from thousands of applicants for a place in Stanford's first-year class, pointing out a few special ones.
Elle looked around, searching for Warner. He was seated with Sarah two rows in front and to the left of her. Elle watched him to see if he would look in her direction. She was so involved in this activity that the dean's next introduction shocked her.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, what class would be complete without a sorority president?" the dean asked, and the audience laughed. Even Warner was laughing. "Ms. Elle Woods," the dean said and gestured for her to stand up, "Who also happens to be our only homecoming queen!"
Elle reddened. Then she gathered her things and left quickly.
CHAPTER NINE
Elle's first day was a disaster. When she arrived at Criminal Law, the first class on her schedule, Elle realized she had forgotten to bring her name card. Each seat had a special desktop slot for these large cards, which helped professors to humiliate you by name. Elle was the only unlabeled person. She groaned as Sarah walked into the room and sat down behind a card that read "Knottingham, S."
At least it doesn't say Huntington yet, Elle thought.
Sarah was chatting with Claire Caldwell-Boulaine. "Like a talking Barbie," Elle overheard Sarah whisper. "Wait and see!" Claire said.
The balding boy next to Elle, obviously a Star I fan, labeled "Garney, T.", was busily typing something on his laptop computer. Elle wondered what he could possibly be taking notes of already. The boy paused to check the time on his watch and looked around the room. He noticed Elle's pink pad and a fuzzy pink pen. Shocked, he asked her, "Where is your laptop?"
Ignoring Garney, T., Elle glanced again at her schedule, hoping it would show she was in the wrong room. Looks like I'll be seeing a lot of Sarah, she thought. And Warner can walk in any minute.
She looked at the door when it suddenly opened. To her surprise, it was not Warner, but Sidney Ugman. Elle had known and avoided Sidney Ugman for years. He was her next-door neighbor in Bel Air, and they had gone to the same school. Sidney had followed her for years, like a bad dream.
Sidney's father, Lee Ugman, was a major client of Eva's gallery. Because of that, Sidney had a chance to meet with Elle more often at dinners and gallery events. His parents often said that Sidney and Elle had a "special relationship," which is why Lee Ugman bought so much from Eva's gallery. "To keep it in the family," he explained. Of course, THERE WAS NO "SPECIAL IF RELATIONSHIP" because all of it was just Sidney's imagination.
Sydney recognized his Star Trek friend, the balding boy next to Elle, and took a seat in the same row.
The class was what Elle had already known about law school: everything was totally different from her previous life. NERDS like Sydney and his balding friend Garney, T. grouped together to discuss new hi-tech inventions. High society girls like Claire and Sarah met at coffeehouses to do crossword puzzles in foreign languages. And only Elle had no one to talk to. She realized that she, Elle Woods, was unpopular.
CHAPTER TEN
Elle
Sidney
Elle's professors
Finally, Professor Kiki arrived. Catherine "Kiki" Haus was a Stanford Law School professor and the wife of the dean. She was STURDy, wide-faced, about forty years old. She often looked into her notes and spoke with an "uh" between every few words.
"All law... uh... is biased. Um... against women," she lectured.
Was this Criminal Law or feminism? Elle thought they'd talk about lawyers, guns, and money.
Kiki CALLED only ON women. In her introductory speech, she said that women have to balance work and family life, while men are free from this responsibility. Nobody had any idea what this had to do with criminal law, but they were typing it on their laptops anyway.
"Uh, you, without the, uh, name card." Kiki pointed at Elle. "Uh, what's your name?"
"Elle Woods."
"Uh, Ms., uh, Woods, uh, why did you, uh, come to law school?"
First question, first day, Elle thought.
Sarah turned around with interest. The room was quiet.
"To be a lawyer?" Elle guessed.
Kiki SMIRKED. "And, uh, why do uh, want to be a, uh, lawyer?"
"So I can do my own divorce papers," Elle answered, smiling. She glanced in the direction of Sarah and Claire to see if her words had any effect on them.
"I see," Kiki said and turned away to write on the board. "You all want to be lawyers, but first you have to pass my class. And last year only half of the students who sat in these seats did it..."
Elle was called on again in Torts class for a question on the reading, which was actually assigned before the first class, but Elle hadn't gotten to it yet, and didn't even have her books with her. With no name card and no books, Elle was an easy target.
Torts was the class of basic personal injury law. A "tort" meant an injury over which you could sue somebody. The class focused on everyday talk-show things like car accidents or annoying phone calls.
Today's word, which Elle might have known if she had read the assigned chapter, was "subrogation," a way for the bad guy to escape paying damages by suing somebody else.
"You, without a laptop or a name card..." Professor Glenn, a white-haired red-nosed man, pointed at Elle. "What do you think of subrogation?"
Elle wondered if this professor was into feminism too, like Kiki. "Well," she answered, "it's a part of our society. Especially the subjugation of women."
The class was laughing, and Elle couldn't understand what was so funny.
Professor Glenn shook his head sadly. He was sober that day and regretted it. "Thank you, Ms. Woods. Let's turn to somebody who's done the reading," he said.
Elle now realized that the time she had spent reading Cosmopolitan's Life after College issue had been a total waste of time. She understood she might need a new source of advice like watching Oprah shows or Larry King, or something.
Leaving the room after class, Elle gasped as Sidney's hand grabbed her arm. "Hey Elle," he said. "Come on, this isn't Bel Air. You're not so popular here, you know. People don't even like you."
Elle twisted her arm to get away from him but couldn't.
"I have so many friends here already, Elle. You should be nicer to me... I might let you into my study group," Sidney continued.
Elle turned around and faced Sidney, finally freeing her arm. "Sidney, don't make this worse than it already is for me," she said. "Just leave me alone, will you?"
Sidney's laughter was her answer. Now he was the king and she was a joke. Law school was his chance to make her pay, and he was going to enjoy every minute of it.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Elle
Josette
Right after class Elle went to the beauty salon, she had found during orientation week when she skipped the barbecue. It was in the Stanford Shopping Center, and she found a nice French manicurist there who brought her back to life. Elle had booked enough time for a pedicure as well as a manicure; she really needed to talk to someone and would have stayed even longer if she could.
Sighing deeply, Elle put her left hand under the air dryer. "Josette, it got even worse."
Josette, a good-looking brunette, was working on Elle's right hand, shaping her thumbnail. "Worse? Elle, what you told me before... it was already horrible!"
Elle looked around the salon. "See, I have to go to class because I don't have any friends, and I don't know who would lake notes for me if I was absent," she explained.
"You should make a friend then," Josette advised.
"No, Josette, wait till you hear what these people are like! This one guy from MIT, the Gummi Bear Man, sits behind me in Civil Procedure, and he says he's doing some kind of scientific experiment... whatever. Anyway, he is eating Gummi bears' all the time."
"Eeeewwww," Josette said. "And what about the other students?"
"Well, there's also a guy called Ben who for law school. He watches Court TV when he's not reading the Legal or cases. He reads the Stanford Law in the library when we have an hour break between classes. He carries around piles of casebooks. He loves law school so much! He told me that he wanted to be a law professor since he was seven years old!"
"I think I wanted to be a ballerina when I was a little girl," Josette said. "Or a princess. And what about the girls in your school?"
Elle put both hands under the air dryer. "Josette, all of them are boring and badly dressed."
Josette laughed. "Why are you in law school, Elle?"
Elle thought about it and wondered if she should tell her. "I followed my college boyfriend, Warner, here," Elle explained.
"He broke up with me before he came to Stanford, and I thought I'd go to law school too, you know, to win him back. But now he's engaged to this awful young woman named Sarah, and I'm stuck here!"
"Maybe you should see another man?" Josette suggested.
"I know, I'm pathetic."
Josette needed to get to another client. "Do you want the same time next week?" she asked Elle.
"Yes, please, the same time next week," Elle, answered. She put on her sandals and went to her career-counseling seminar.
The seminars were once a week after classes. Elle had signed up to see what the future promised. She also hoped to see Warner there. The career counselor told her to work on her resume, spending more time in the library, studying cases.
Returning from the seminar, Elle found a note on her dorm room door. It said that keeping a dog in the room was not allowed, so Elle would have to find a new home for the dog, or find a new home for herself and the dog.
"Guess we've got to find a new home, Underdog," Elle sighed and took her dog outside.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Elle
Eugenia
The professor
Most classes in law school were a torture. Civil Procedure class was all about cases in court. Anyone who could read and follow directions could understand Civil Procedure. You only had to memorize things for the exam.
Elle was reading her magazine when Professor Erie called on Ben to answer a question. He would be talking for the rest of the class. Elle was glad she'd brought the new Vogue.
The young woman next to Elle offered her a piece of gum. "It's apple," she whispered, "my favorite."
"Thanks," Elle said, smiling. The girl next to her was unlike most of her classmates. She was pretty, with ivory skin and clear blue eyes. Plus she was sort of blonde, or could be, with some highlights.
"It all sounds like abracadabra to me!" the young woman whispered again with a smile.
Elle looked at her neighbor curiously.
"What the hell is quasi in rem jurisdiction?" she wrote a note on a paper, which she passed to Elle.
"I don't know, sorry," Elle wrote back. "I skip this class a lot because of Gummi bears."
"I know. Isn't that gross? By the way, my name is Eugenia," was the response.
Elle laughed. This girl was all right.
"Miss Iliakis?" The note passing was interrupted. "Is Miss Iliakis here today?"
"Uh, yes." Eugenia raised her hand. "Back here."
"Miss Iliakis, here is the second problem. Let's see if we can help them get into court."
Eugenia looked helplessly at Elle, who shrugged. Professor! Tie waited a bit, then turned to Ben again, who happily demonstrated his knowledge.
In the hall after the class, Eugenia asked Elle, "Do you want to grab some lunch before Torts?"
"Sure," Elle answered, shocked that someone was actually speaking to her and asking her to lunch.
The margaritas at lunch were perfect. Eugenia suggested they call it a day. "I can get the notes from Claire or somebody."
"Cool," Elle said.
Over lunch, Eugenia told Elle she was from a Greek neighborhood in Pittsburgh. Elle listened with interest.
"Growing up in Pittsburgh and then going to Yale, I thought I'd enter the creative world, you know," Eugenia said.
Elle laughed. Eugenia was impressed when Elle told her that her mother had an art gallery in L. A., and that she herself wanted to be a jewelry designer, not a lawyer. Eugenia didn't even ask why Elle was at Stanford Law.
Elle was thrilled. Had she actually found a friend in law school?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Elle
Worner
It was early October and Elle was still in her dorm room, studying, when the phone rang. She decided to let her answering machine PICK UP.
She froze when Warner's voice began speaking.
"Elle, uh, I wanted to call you earlier to see how things were going for you at law school. As you probably know, Sarah, my fiancee, is in your class, and from what she tells me, you're still the same old Elle!"
Elle glared at the machine.
"Anyway, listen, Daniel's coming to visit, and I promised I'd show him our videotape from Vegas. If you lend it to me, I can make a copy, or just borrow it. Okay, honey?"
Has he just used the word "honey"? Elle thought.
There was a pause, then: "Thanks, Elle. Call me soon."
"Oh, God, the Vegas tape!" Elle fell down on the bed, laughing, and stared at the ceiling.
Unknown to his family, and probably to Sarah, Warner's secret ambition was to direct films. For three years he had taken Elle to film after film, and later he began "directing documentaries" of their own adventures.
The videotape he asked about was a hilarious adventure weekend of Elle, Warner, and Warner's old friend, Daniel, on the streets and in the casinos of Las Vegas. The "documentary" ended with the Imperial Palace suite, its grand bed, and a huge Jacuzzi.
Elle picked up the phone to call Warner back; then hung up. She smiled. I'll make him wait. I'll make him wait until Daniel's in town, she thought.
Instead, Elle called her new landlord. The crazy old man didn't recognize her at first, though she had met WITH him only two days before.
"Mr. Hopson, it's Elle Woods. I'm moving in... Today?"
It was the only nice place Elle could find that allowed pets m the condominium.
"Right, right, sir. The jewelry designer. I'm bringing my dog, remember? Yes, I know that I have to pay an extra deposit lot pets. We discussed that before, Mr. Hopson. I wrote you a check. Yes I did. Yesterday. I just wanted to tell you I'm coming this afternoon. Yes, Elle Woods," Elle repeated, frustrated. "W-o-o-d-s. Thank you."
CHAPTER FOURTY-EIGHT
Elle
Chutney
Christopher Miles
Chutney's lawyer
Judge Morgan
Sarah
Elle was staring at Chutney's frizzy hair as she took her seat in the witness stand.
"Chutney, please describe to the court where you were on the day of your father's death."
To CORROBORATe Chutney's activities, Henry Kohn had called Philippe LeBlanc, the head stylist at Frize of Beverly Hills. Philippe brought a page from the salon's calendar, showing that Chutney had been scheduled to get a permanent wave that morning. He had done her hair himself, and he testified that Chutney acted perfectly normal.
Then Maxine Maximillian, of Max Fitness Center, testified that she had spoken with Chutney at the gym in the afternoon at around 3:00 P.M. when she had just finished teaching her aerobics class, which began at 1:00 P.M.
Chutney testified that she had returned home to an empty house after working out. She went upstairs to take a shower and ran downstairs to grab a drink from the kitchen. That was when she found Brooke, who was SHAKING WITH FRIGHT, trying to move Heyworth's body. She surprised Brooke, who probably hadn't heard her upstairs and who then fainted in the kitchen. Chutney called the police while Brooke was unconscious. The police arrived and arrested her in the kitchen.
When Christopher Miles began questioning the witness, at first he asked Chutney to describe the house. "You were surprised, you said, Ms. Vandermark, when you saw your father downstairs?" he asked next.
"Of course!" Chutney gasped. "For God's sake, my father was... he was dead!"
"So you didn't notice anything unusual, then, before you came downstairs. And nobody was there when you got home," he continued. "So... so it happened while you were upstairs."
He paused, looking for another question - for anything - to keep Chutney on the stand.
Chutney glanced at her lawyer, who shrugged. Judge Morgan was watching Christopher Miles. Elle touched her silky hair and thought that she would never want it to be frizzy like Chutney's. Suddenly, she jumped up.
"Wait!" Elle exclaimed.
Judge Morgan pounded her gavel. "Order. Order."
"Your Honor," Elle came up to the bench, "I'm an INTERN for Mrs. Vandermark's defense team. May I ask Chutney a question?"
Judge Morgan, glancing at the student audience, decided to agree. She wanted to publish an article in the Stanford Law Review. "Mr. Miles?" she asked Christopher.
Elle looked at him and raised her eyebrows, like a child asking for a present on Christmas Eve.
All is lost already anyway, the lawyer thought. "A fine idea, Miss Woods," he smiled. Sarah gasped in horror.
"Your Honor," Elle nodded seriously, "it's relevant, I promise." She turned to Chutney, who grinned. "It's about your hair," Elle began. "It looks nice."
"Thanks." Chutney stared at Elle with curiosity.
"Did you just get a perm?"
"Yeah, before the trial. Philippe did it." Chutney pointed to Philippe, who nodded.
"He did your hair during college too, didn't he?" Elle asked.
"Oh, yes," Chutney answered, "he has permed my hair since the first time I went with Emerald." Chutney's mother nodded proudly from her seat. "I never do anything to my hair unless he tells me it is okay. He's totally professional."
"And you've had..." Elle wondered aloud, "how many perms?"
"Well, one every six months since I was about ten. That's like twenty at least."
"And you got a perm the day that Heyworth... your father was murdered," Elle said, thoughtfully.
"Yes," Chutney answered. "As I had already said, I was at Frize."
"But your father was shot a little later, after you got home," Elle continued, with her back turned to Chutney.
Sarah frowned. "Do we need to go through this until Elle gets it straight?" she whispered to Warner.
Elle turned around and came up to the witness stand with her hands on her hips. "But you didn't hear anything, not even a gunshot."
"Yes. For God's sake, I told you. I was in the shower. I worked out after I left Frize, and when I got home, I took a shower. I'm sure I didn't hear anything, any shot, because I was washing my hair. I wash it every day." Chutney glared at Elle.
Elle walked towards the court gallery, smiling. "Chutney, veteran of twenty perms, graduate of hair management," she turned to face the witness, "it is absolutely elementary, absolutely the first rule of hair care, that you can't wash your hair for twenty-four hours after a perm."
Chutney gasped, raising her hand to cover her open mouth.
"Is that not a fact?" Elle demanded. "Chutney?"
"Yes," Chutney whispered, beginning to cry. "You have to wait twenty-four hours."
"And you were washing your hair!" Elle asked the witness. "Three hours after you walked out of Frize?"
"No!" Chutney cried.
Henry Kohn jumped up from his chair, objecting.
"You would never wash your hair right after getting a perm, would you, Chutney?" Elle said, not listening to Henry Kohn's furious shouts.
Judge Morgan pounded her GAVEl. "Let her answer the question, Mr. Kohn."
"No, no, no," Chutney sobbed, "never! I wasn't in the shower, of course not!"
"You lied then, Chutney." Elle folded her arms, staring at the witness. "Tell the court again where you were when your father was shot."
Chutney turned in her chair, pointing at Brooke. "She is younger than I am!" she shrieked. "She was in my class, and she married my father!"
Henry Kohn still tried to silence Chutney.
"You stole my father! You ruined him! You ruined my life!" Chutney yelled at Brooke. "I didn't mean to shoot him! I meant to shoot you!"
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